


Tony's Epiphany

by Foxfire96



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War Team Iron Man, Endgame, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, One Shot, Other, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxfire96/pseuds/Foxfire96
Summary: Set after the snap.After seeing a photo of himself and Peter Parker, Tony Stark can't help but look back on their relationship as mentor and figure. He decides to watch Peter's vlogs from 'Homecoming.'Post Infinity War, and set during a canonical scene in Endgame.
Relationships: Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 170





	Tony's Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a comment on YouTube that said Tony should've watched Peter's vlogs following the snap, and it inspired me to write this fic. Please let me know what you all think of it!

“Shit.”

Tony curses softly as the sink hose sprays water around the kitchen. Tonight was his turn to do dishes, and he knew better than to argue with Pepper after all of these years. He was Anthony Edward Stark, billionaire industrialist with far more endeavours worthy of his time and energy than getting grime off of plates. Of course, he had never had a more intimidating being command authority over him than his wife.

He takes the dishcloth on the side of the sink and starts wiping down his mess. As he wipes off the shelf above the kitchen sink, a lone photo catches his eye. After staring for a few seconds, Tony takes the photo and gives it a long look after wiping it off.

It is a photo of the day when he had hired the kid as an ‘intern.’ The faintest ghost of a smile passes over Tony’s face. Peter Parker had been over the moon while standing next to his idol, and the man had known it at the time. As much as Tony had attempted to look above it all in typical Stark fashion, he hadn’t been able to completely mask his small smirk in the photo. The stupid certificate had even been upside down, but the kid hadn’t cared. As far as Peter had been concerned, he had won the damn lottery.

Tony lets out a deep sigh as he places the photograph back. He hadn’t gifted Underoos anything. What he had done was take advantage of an exceptionally gifted teenager and dragged the boy into a life of constant danger and peril. Yes, Tony had argued with himself over it countless times. Parker had started fighting crime and being a hero in that god awful homemade suit long before they had met. He had rationalized taking the kid under his wing to better protect him, even if at the time, he had needed another ace in the hole against Rogers.

Speaking of Captain Boy Scout, a seething anger was still boiling just under the surface of Tony’s psyche. How _dare_ he? How _dare_ they all? Didn’t they realize he was hurting just as much as they were, even after these past five years? Then they’d had the gall to ask him for help pulling off the most ridiculous idea he could have imagined. A freaking time heist, with a few half baked theorems more likely to get them all killed. The whole thing was ludicrous.

Except, the theorems weren’t entirely half baked. Against his better judgement, Tony had subconsciously done the math in his head. Theoretically…

He pinches the bridge of his nose, stopping himself again. _He can’t._ He has Morgan to think about. He has a life with a kid of his own and a woman who had put up with more than she should ever have had to. They’d finally struck a balance with his idiosyncrasies once they’d been able to settle down, and he took a backseat approach to running Stark Industries. 

Except, he couldn’t bring himself to forget something Happy had said to him shortly after he had been brought back to Earth.

_Tony, I’m so sorry. I know he was like a son to you._

Tony hadn’t responded, but the look he had given Happy had said it all. Peter had _been_ a son to him, even if he had never admitted to feeling that way.

The memory of that first car ride together flashes in his head, when Peter had thought Tony was giving a hug. _It's not a hug, I’m just grabbing the door for you. We’re not there yet._

Then the time he had taken the suit after Parker had royally screwed up. _If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it. Ok? God, I sound like my dad._

On Titan, as Strange and the Guardians had started fading away into nothing. He had held Peter in his arms as the boy could feel himself slipping away. He was only that in the end, as much as he wanted to play grown up as an Avenger. He had only been a fifteen year old _boy._

_Peter is walking towards Tony, realizing he is fading away. “Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good…”_

_Tony tries to stay calm, his voice shaking as he looks at Peter in terror. “You're all right?”_

_Peter begins stumbling and is terrified, his voice breaking. “I don't know what's -- I don't know what's happening. I don't-”_

_Peter falls into Stark's arms, clutching him tight while beginning to cry. He is pleading._

_“I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, Mr. Stark, please. Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go…”_

_There is a short silence before Peter says one last thing. The transition of fear into acceptance Tony catches looking into his protege’s eyes will haunt him forever._

_“I'm sorry.”_

_Peter disintegrates into ashes in Tony’s arms. He falls forward from the lack of weight in his arms, before staring at his hands in disbelief._

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., bring up the video logs of Peter Benjamin Parker, starting with when I gave him the suit.”

Tony doesn’t know why he is voicing the command. All he knows is that he needs something, anything at all, to remind him that Peter had walked on this planet. Thanos had turned all of their friends and family into _dust._ They had been left with nothing, and though the Titan was now dead, the fact brought no satisfaction. Revenge had solved nothing.

Sitting down on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table, Tony finds himself watching the last mementos he has left of Peter. These juvenile vlogs are the only memento he has left.

_a Film by Peter Parker_

Tony rolls his eyes. He had seen these vlogs already, but almost forgot how the kid had edited them. Jesus Christ.

_[Through a small, rectangular screen, we see the scenery of New York passing by at a high velocity. We seem to be on a highway.]_

_Peter: (in a gravelly voice) New York. Queens. It’s a rough borough, but hey, it’s home._

_Happy: Who are you talking to?_

_[Camera quickly pans to reveal Happy Hogan driving in the front seat.]_

_Peter: (in a normal voice) No one. Just making a little video of the trip._

_Happy: You know you can’t show it to anyone._

Well, nobody but Tony anyways.

_Peter: Yeah, I know._

_Happy: Then why are you narrating in that voice?_

_Peter: Uh... Because it’s fun._

_Happy: Fun._

_[Apparently, Happy thinks this whole situation is the opposite of fun. He puts on his sunglasses and solemnly looks out the windshield.]_

_Peter: So, uh, why do they call you Happy?_

Tony snorts. That was a LONG story, one he’d never told Peter.

He hadn’t said a lot of things to Peter, before it was too late.

_[Happy raises the limo’s partition. We see a reflection of Peter Parker holding up his phone and filming.]_

_[Peter gets out of the car to find a small private plane waiting for him.]_

_Happy: Come on. I’m not carrying your bags. Let’s go._

_Peter: Hey, should I go to the bathroom before?_

God dammit kid. Seriously?

_Happy: There’s a bathroom on it._

_[Inside the plane, we see a view of the cockpit. Two seats for the pilot and the copilot are there. No one is sitting in them.]_

_Peter: Whoa. No pilot? That’s awesome._

_[Peter sits down across from Happy, directly facing him.]_

_Happy: Is that where you’re gonna sit?_

_Peter: Yeah._

_Happy: This is your first time on a private plane?_

_Peter: My first time on any plane._

Tony frowns. He really had taken the kid out of his small slice of life. He shakes his head. He had been too busy preparing himself to confront Rogers himself. Still, he couldn’t have done better than putting the burden on Happy? He couldn’t have filled Peter in more on what he was getting flown for?

_[Happy moves away to sit in another seat.]_

_Peter: Should it...? Should it be...? Should it be making that noise?_

_[Later. Peter puts a finger to his lips and makes a shushing sound.]_

_Peter: Shh._

_[Camera reveals Happy snoring. At the sound of Peter’s chuckle, Happy jerks awake, causing the whole frame to shake.]_

Tony laughs. That had been funny, and if he had been there, he might’ve done the same thing. Happy had always had a bad habit of falling asleep in the worst places.

_[Inside Berlin Brandenburg Airport, we see German signs, Happy dragging his luggage behind him, and Peter’s face in quick succession.]_

_[Peter is sightseeing Berlin. We see Berlin streets, the Brandenburg Gate, a street performer, foreign girls, and a pretzel vendor.]_

_Peter: No one has actually told me why I’m in Berlin or what I’m doing. Something about Captain America going crazy._

_[Happy and Peter enter a hotel.]_

_Happy: (pointing at a door) This is you._

_Peter: Oh, we’re neighbors?_

_Happy: We’re not roommates. Suit up._

_[Peter's hotel room. Standing in front of a mirror, we see Peter wearing his homemade Spider-Man suit, consisting of a thin, baggy sweatshirt, goggles with shutters, and web-shooters.]_

The pajamas had been god awful. And again, HOW had Parker been able to see out of those crappy goggles?

_Peter: Okay, Peter, you got this. You got this._

_Happy: What the hell are you wearing?_

_[Happy is staring at Peter with a horrified look. Peter tilts down the camera to reveal his feet.]_

_Peter: It’s my suit._

_Happy: Where’s the case?_

_Peter: What case? That’s not my..._

_[Happy opens a door, showing Peter another area of his suite.]_

_Peter: What? I thought that was a closet. This is still my room?_

Kid had probably never been in a hotel room bigger than his apartment flat. What a different upbringing he and Tony had experienced.

_Happy: Go. Please._

_Peter: My room is way bigger than..._

_Happy: There._

_[A case is sitting on a coffee table.]_

_Peter: I found the case. I found the case. I found the case._

_[He plucks up a card that says “A minor upgrade -TS” from the case.]_

Only minor, you know. When you had the money, you could afford the best. If it wasn’t buyable, with the brains, you could build it.

_Peter: “A minor upgrade”?_

_[When Peter unbuckles a lock the case unfolds itself, revealing a high tech Spider-Man suit complete with awesome holograms.]_

_Peter: Whoa. Oh my God._

Tony smirks, pleased with himself.

_Happy: Put it on._

_Peter: What the...? This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen-_

_Happy: Let’s go._

_Peter: But, yeah. Well, I don’t understand. Is it for me?_

No. The suit had been for Auntie Hottie. OF COURSE it had been for him!

_[Camera spins to find Happy leaving the room.]_

_Peter: Happy, Happy, wait._

_[Peter takes off the mask of his homemade Spider-Man suit with a huge, excited grin on his face.]_

_Peter: This is insane. Insane. Look at this thing. Look. Look at the eyes. This is the greatest day of my life._

_Happy: Let’s go._

_[He has come to drag a hyped-up Peter out of the room.]_

_Peter: Okay._

_Happy: Come on._

_[Outside Flughafen Leipzig-Halle, We see Iron Man, War Machine, Captain America, Black Widow, and Black Panther confronting each other.]_

_Peter: (whispers) Okay, there’s Captain America, Iron Man, Black Widow. Whoa. Who’s that new guy?_

_Tony: Underoos!_

Peter had hated the nickname, which was all the more reason he’d used it. Same reason he called Rogers boy scout, or that Squidward guy… well, Squidward. 

_[We see Peter, now dressed in the Spider-Man suit that Tony gave him.]_

_Peter: Oh, that’s me. I gotta go. I gotta go._

_[Peter puts down the phone and proceeds to snatch Captain America’s shield with his web.]_

_[Later.]_

_Peter: Hey, everyone._

_[He is holding his camera and flying through the air to find a safe spot. We see and hear explosions everywhere.]_

_Peter: Okay, so the craziest thing just happened, right? I just had a fight with Captain America and I stole his shield and I threw it at him-_

_[We hear a metallic noise. Ant-Man grows into a giant in the background and grabs War Machine by his ankle. Peter turns to see this.]_

_Peter: What the hell? He’s big now. I gotta go. Hang on._

Such a rookie. Filming during a god damn battle? He’d taken nothing seriously. Parker had only really started to get serious about being a ‘superhero’ after the ferry fiasco.

_[The phone is put down and for a moment, all we see are the sky and the clouds. Then we hear the battle commencing and see Peter being flung through the air.]_

_Peter: Whoa!_

_[Back in Peter's hotel room. Peter is facing the camera, now dressed in a grey NASA T-shirt. It is obvious that he is still high on adrenaline.]_

_Peter: It was the most amazing thing that’s ever happened! So Mr. Stark was like, “Hey, Underoos!” and I just sort of flipped in and I stole Cap’s shield. I was like, “Hey, what’s up, everybody?” And then..._

_[There’s a knock on his door.]_

_Peter: Hey, just a second! Coming!_

_[He backflips to the door, but before he can open it, Happy enters in a bathrobe.]_

Tony roars with laughter, but shuts himself up quickly. He doesn’t want to wake Morgan. Happy, Happy, Happy....

_Peter: Hey._

_Happy: We have thin walls here._

Really? You didn’t get enough sleep before old pal?

_[Camera starts rolling. We are now inside Tony's car. A hand reaches for it and we tilt up to find Tony Stark in a suit and sunglasses ensemble.]_

Tony stops smiling. He remembers this part all too well.

_Tony: What are you doing, a little video diary?_

_Peter: (embarrassed) Yeah._

_Tony: It’s all right. I’d probably do the same._

_Happy: (from the driver’s seat) I told him not to do it. He was filming everything._

_Tony: It’s okay._

_Happy: I’m gonna wipe the chip._

No you wouldn’t. Well, Happy had, but only after Tony had backed up the vlog files. Partly to analyze Parker’s performance in the field, and also for the laughs.

_Tony: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You know what? We should actually... We should make an alibi video for your aunt anyway. You ready?_

_[Tony takes off his sunglasses, revealing a badly bruised face.]_

He winces. He could still feel every blow Rogers and Barnes had left on him.

_Peter: Yeah, hold on._

_Tony: We rolling?_

_Peter: An alibi? Sure._

_Tony: Get in the frame._

_Peter: Okay._

_Tony: Hey, May. How you doing? What are you wearing? Something skimpy, I hope._

_[Peter turns to Tony with a frown on his face. Tony chuckles and pats Peter’s shoulder, whose face now wears an uncomfortable smile.]_

Well, I ended up with Pepper. He had nothing to worry about.

_Tony: Peter, that’s inappropriate. All right, let’s start over. You can edit it._

_Peter: Mm-hmm._

_[Looking at Tony, Peter chuckles.]_

_Tony: Three, two, one. Hey, May. My gosh, uh, I wanted to tell you what an incredible job your nephew did this weekend at the Stark internship retreat. Everyone was impressed._

As ridiculous, immature, and nonsensical as Peter had been at the airport, he _had_ impressed Tony. If Parker had only had a few more years of training and tutelage, he’d have been a top Avenger with his potential. 

_[Tony is putting on a solemn face. Peter offers the camera a wide-eyed, tight-lipped smile, trying to look innocent. Suddenly, we hear a loud honk.]_

_Happy: Come on! It’s a freaking merge. (to Tony) I’m sorry._

_Tony: This is because you’re not on Queens Boulevard. (to the camera) See, Happy is... is hoping to get bumped up to asset management. He was forehead of security, and before that, he was just a driver._

_[Still driving, Happy gives Tony a sidelong glance.]_

_Happy: That was a private conversation. I don’t like joking about this. It was hard for me to talk to you about that._

_Tony: No, seriously, was he snoring a bunch?_

_[Happy slams on the brakes, making the car screech to a stop.]_

Tony chuckles once more.

_Happy: All right. Here we are. End of the line. Whoops._

_[Tony laughs and films Peter, who looks a bit pale.]_

_Tony: Happy, can you give us a moment?_

_Happy: You want me to leave the car?_

_Tony: Why don’t you grab Peter’s case out of the trunk._

The vlogs end here. The kid had been shocked, Tony remembers proudly. It wasn’t every day he gave someone a custom made Stark Industries suit. He hadn't been able to stop himself. The kid was such a bundle of excited energy and determination, he had felt like an eagle helping a young chick fly. Deep down, Peter had been made of the right stuff, and it had been a privilege to mentor him so early in the young man's career.

And now... Peter was gone. All that potential, all that promise and goodness, gone.

Tony closes the laptop, and leans back on the couch, eyes closed as he remembers the last thing he had said that night.

_It’s not a hug. I’m just grabbing the door for you. We’re not there yet._

He should’ve hugged the kid. He should’ve trained and watched over Peter more following that battle, regardless of how shook up he’d been fighting Rogers and his mom’s killer. He should’ve called Peter for some damn patrol missions at the least. Not drop him off like a half finished project he’d discarded, only to come back when it was convenient.

He should have stopped Thanos before it was too late, and Peter never should have faded away before his eyes.

Peter never should have died.

And even though he had been the one to let the kid down, Peter had been the one to apologize, with his dying breath.

_“I’m sorry.”_

\-----

Pepper walks down the stairs, having just checked on Morgan. She had been watching the evening news, and after seeing that her daughter was still asleep, decided to check up on her husband. He still had a nasty habit with his terrible sleep schedule. Tony could have learned a thing or two from Happy, and take some naps once in a while.

She has just reached the bottom step when she stops suddenly. There’s a faint sound coming from the living room conjoined to the kitchen, and it’s so foreign to her, that she almost doesn’t believe it at first.

On instinct, Pepper rushes to the couch, worried that something must be seriously wrong. The sight before her leaves her frozen in shock.

There is her husband, cocky ass manly man. The man who infuriated her to no end. The man who fathered her daughter. The man who, for all his faults, had a million more virtues under all of his smarm. Once you tore away his armors, both sets, you could see the tortured soul beneath them. You could see the man who’d overcome a troubled relationship with his father, substance abuse, torture, a thousand insurmountable odds. Tony did so much good in spite of all the bad he had put up with throughout his life.

Yet he had never once cried, or broken down before her. Not once had she seen him this vulnerable except for his panic attacks.

And there Tony Stark was, breaking down like she had never seen before.

Sobbing.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment & kudos! I appreciate any feedback I can get!


End file.
